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My sponsor and I went to a meeting a few days ago. One of the topics for discussion was Acceptance. I suggested they try the 12 steps. They were the solution to all my problems.
On the drive home, we talked and I pointed out that acceptance is the basic principle of each step. Other principles embedded in the steps are honesty and humility, but acceptance is the underlying one.
Look at Step 1. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." I always get a kick out of those shares that start with, "Well I can admit that I'm powerless but I don't think I've accepted it yet......" Accept is a synonym of surrender. Admit is a synonym of surrender. So is concede, decide, come to terms with, etc. So, it's the same thing said using a different word. I know in one of our books it says that the underlying principle of the first step is that we shall find no strength until we first admit complete defeat. - Surrender.
In step 2, it says, "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Surrender/acceptance again.
In step 3, "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." That sounds like acceptance to me.
In Step 4, we "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Acceptance again. After all, what's the point of making an inventory, of searching out and coming to terms with our defects of character, if we're not going to use it.
In Step 5, we "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." We already know that to admit and to accept means the same thing.
Again, in step 6, we "Were entirely ready to have God remove our defects of character." We developed this degree of readiness by surrender of our ego, by acceptance.
Further, in step 7, we "Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings." We wouldn't do that unless we had surrendered to, unless we had accepted that he would.
And it continues throughout all the steps. When Little Johnny told his teacher he was having difficulty with math, she gave him math homework.
If you're having difficulty with the practice of acceptance, with the practice of humility, or with the practice of honesty, do your homework. Work the steps. That's what they're for.
