Old Man Canavar & His Shiny New Buick

There was an old guy living in Eddie's building. Mr. Canavar. He was tall and muscular with hair as black as night and eyes like fire. He always seemed to be angry about something. He wasn't ever friendly like some of the other tenants.

Old Man Canavar had a large dog that he kept chained up on the back porch. It was a mean dog that barked and howled all day and sometimes half the night. No one used the back entrance because of that dog. Eddie and Wally used to tease the dog with a long stick that they would use to rattle against the porch spindles. The dog would growl and snap but he couldn't get his snout through the spindles to rip them limb from limb as they were sure he'd like to do.

Old Man Canavar drove a big fancy car. Eddie thought it might be a Buick. He was always shining and waxing it. One day when he was carting some groceries upstairs, he left the driver's side door open.

Wally had been playing in the driveway with one of his Tonka dump trucks. When he saw that Old Man Canavar had left his car door open, Wally ran over to close it for him. Eddie found it hard to believe that Wally would do something so nice for Old Man Canavar, but that's what Wally said later when the poop hit the fan so Eddie backed up his story.

Wally almost got his good deed carried out, but instead he tripped over a rock in the driveway and his dump truck went sailing through the air and landed on the driver's seat of Old Man Canavar's shiny Buick. And Wally fell across the seat, spilling the contents of his dump truck over the polished leather interior of Old Man Canavar's pride and joy. Mr. Canavar picked that exact moment to remember he'd left the door open and came out to close it. When he saw Wally's feet sticking out of his car, he burst into a rage. Most of what he said was unintelligible to Wally because it was in Greek, but it sounded a lot like:

“You crazy kid! What the fuck you doing in my car?? I'll kill you.”

Old Man Canavar put one huge hand on Wally's arm and tried to drag him out of his shiny new Buick. Wally had just managed to get his little hands on the Tonka truck. When he heard Old Man Canavar shouting and felt that grip on his arm, he knew he was about to die. So he did the only thing his six year old mind could come up with. He hit Old Man Canavar in the face with his Tonka dump truck. If Wally had been older and stronger he might have been able to defend himself better, but six year olds are no match for grown men. Still, he gave Old Man Canavar a black eye which only made him angrier. He grabbed Wally with both hands and started shaking him. He was cursing while he did it and poor Wally knew he was done for.

That's when Eddie showed up. Eddie didn't know what was happening. All he could see was Old Man Canavar trying to kill his brother and Wally crying, so he started punching and kicking him. Now, both boys are beating on Old Man Canavar. The old Greek put up quite a fight and managed to get them both by the shirt collars. Then, he dragged them upstairs to their parents because he was going to see to it that they were properly punished.

Unfortunately for Old Man Canavar, his day was about to get very unpleasant. Eddie's dad didn't take too kindly to other men manhanding his children so he punched Old Man Canavar seven or eight times and almost threw him down a flight of stairs. Canavar started shouting something in Greek and then Eddie's dad was chasing him down the stairs, out into the driveway and up the street as Old Man Canavar raced away in his shiny new buick.