The Day The Man In Black Tipped His Hat

It was Thursday, October 16, 1997. I did not have to work that day, but I was at my place of employment. I worked as a clerk in a public library. The library had a few computer terminals that its patrons could use to access the internet. Because I was an employee and well liked by the full time staff, I was able to use the computer in the back room, as long as it was available. I didn't have the internet at home so I took advantage of the library computers whenever possible.

I was in my late thirties, but currently single. I was in a recovery program because I was a problem drinker and not supposed to be in a romantic relationship, anyway. My sponsor thought it might be enough of a distraction that I ought to avoid them altogether. In fact, the last time I had mentioned to him that I was lonely, he had told me to get a cat. Maybe he thought he was being witty.

I wasn't paying much attention to his suggestion. I wasn't blatantly ignoring him, but, well you'll see what I mean. I was going to an online support group for people with compulsive relationship problems. I was no stranger to 12-step meetings but I had only ever attended them for alcohol and not for any other addictions. I never went to an AA meeting looking for a drinking buddy, but I went to this group looking for a sex partner. Well......that's not why I went originally and even when I started to develop the relationship, I didn't think that's what I was doing. That is the nature of addictions. They creep up on us.

Here's what happened to me. I saw a post at the group by one of its female members. She seemed a bit down because of some relationship that hadn't panned out. I copied her email address and emailed her an electronic postcard (they were all the rage back then). She emailed me a thank you. Seemed harmless to me.

If only life was so uncomplicated......